Tina Bishop
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01:42:59 am on January 16, 2010 |
If you are lucky enough to be feeling perfectly healthy, stay away from the pharmaceutical ads on TV. (From now on, I’ll call then “drug” ads. Spelling’s a problem for me.)
According to these commercials, we are a nation in acute physical decline. Gas, bloating and diarrhea (with graphic depictions of our distress) seem to be endemic. But wait—a dose of Aunt Jennie’s Magic Elixir can fix all that in jig time.
But beware, the drug company warns us, “Do not take this medicine if you are subject to dry mouth, falling hair, hallucinations, occasional bad breath and frequent pregnancies.”
If your digestive system is functioning well, you’re lucky. But once in a while you could be feeling listless or depressed. There’s a cure for that condition, too. Be wary of dosing yourself for anxiety, high or low. “Consult your doctor before using this medicine as suicidal thoughts, nightmares, uncontrollable rages, and sudden switches from one political party to another can occur.”
For men who are suffering from once unmentionable “masculine” problems, the drug companies’ warnings are hilarious. Watch it, Buster, or you’ll be sorry. Too much plenty, no good.
Some of us are so impressionable that an ad about migraine can start a pulsing in our heads, and our bones ache when we see the arthritis ads. Our advice to them is as follows: turn off your TV, go off for a silent, bracing hour in the fresh air. As they say, “You’ll be glad you did.”
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Joanne 1:07 pm on January 16, 2010 | # |
Well, Tina, you definitely get the worm today–your posting must have been pre-dawn. I appreciate starting my day with a good laugh. Keep them coming, gal!
Erik Hendricks 2:59 pm on January 20, 2010 | # |
Very well written, Mrs. Bishop!